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12/17/2019 How to Avoid Negative TownA boundary is a limit that promotes integrity and protects you by allowing you to feel safe. There are two types of boundaries: physical boundaries and emotional boundaries. Healthy boundaries come from your conscious awareness of the distinction between you and the people whom you share your life.
When someone crosses a physical boundary and bodily harms you, you bruise, and so you become vulnerable to infection. When your emotional boundaries are breached you also become vulnerable to harm. When someone trespasses your boundaries by thoughtless or intrusive actions these actions are called… BOUNDARY VIOLATIONS. Learning how to protect my boundaries is a skill which I learned through self-parenting. In the beginning, I was so conditioned to suppressing my feelings, I did not even notice when my boundaries were crossed. All I knew was I was upset and in emotional pain. Are you aware of when someone tramples on your feelings? Are you aware when someone invalidates what you are saying, or when someone does not listen to your needs and your feelings? Maybe you are aware and yet allow it to avoid a confrontation. I did this for a long time. Most of us avoid confrontation because we lack the communication skills to maturely express what we want and therefore we fear rejection. However, these seemingly outward peaceful acts of avoidance can actually be inward violent acts of self-sabotage and can throw us into a tailspin of defense. This is a common reason why most of us judge and trample on our own feelings. Self Judgement and neglect are the first steps heading to Negative Town. We can not control what others say, however, we can control how we process what they say and do. Looking externally for validation can be a dangerous game. I often remind myself and others to never under-estimate the ripple effect other people’s energy. Who is costing you what? We all have the birthright to be happy, however that belief has to start within! Comments are closed.
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